At work, it's easy to find ourselves overcommitted and overwhelmed. It's natural to want to be a team player and make a good impression on your team and your boss, but while saying yes to every request may seem like the path to success, it can do more damage than good. It can quickly lead to burnout, and lower your productivity and the quality of your work.
Saying no to your boss or teammate can be challenging, but learning to say no professionally is a skill that can help you maintain a healthy work-life balance, prioritize your tasks, and ultimately do your best work.
This guide is designed to give you practical advice with examples on how to say no to who, and when it's acceptable.
When Is It Okay to Say "No"?
Saying no at work isn't always straightforward. While you're expected to take on new tasks, work on projects, and perform well, there are times when it's okay to say no. Always think about your current workload and priorities first, so you know what more you can handle.
Here are some situations where it might be appropriate to say no:
When a deadline is unrealistic.
There's a lack of resources.
There is a better solution, and it can be delegated to someone else.
When you are busy with other projects and it is not a priority.
When it doesn't align with your work or role.
When it is strongly against your personal beliefs.
When the task is outside your skillset
Saying "No" to Your Teammates
To give your clearest and most professional "no", follow this formula:
Positive Reaction → No Statement → Short Explanation → Suggest an Alternative.
And, you don't want to get stuck with one phrase for "no", so here are some phrases to help you give a gentle but firm "no" to requests from your teammates.
Positive Reaction
"I'd love to."
"I wish I could."
"That's a great idea."
"Normally I would..."
"That's such a good opportunity."
"Thank you for asking me."
"Thank you for coming to me with this."
No Statement
"Unfortunately, I can't."
"I'm afraid I can't."
"I'm not available then/now."
"I'm not going to be able to do that."
"I can't fit that in."
"I don't have the capacity at the moment."
"I couldn't give that the attention it needs right now."
Short Explanation
"I have to finish <project name> as a priority."
"I'll be on annual leave."
"I'm needed in the <project name> team at the moment."
"I'm not trained in / licensed in / approved for that yet."
"We don't have the materials needed for that yet."
Suggest an Alternative
"<Coworker name> has a lot of experience with that. They might be a better fit."
"I can fit it in next week."
"I'll ask my supervisor if we can rearrange some of my responsibilities to take that on."
"We could ask if alternative materials can be used."
"We could ask HR who has the training/license to do that."
It can be tempting to use the reason part of your "no" as your refusal, but giving a reason without a clear "no" can encourage teammates to focus on discussing your availability with you. Including a clear no statement is an important way of encouraging your teammate to focus on alternative solutions instead.
How to Say "No" to Your Boss
Saying no to your boss can be a bit more of a challenge than your teammates. Before you start, it can be helpful to get more information. Ask questions to learn what exactly the task involves and its priority. Remember, your boss may not be aware of your current workload or priorities, so it is important to let them know. You also need to be open to this task being your new priority.
The formula for saying no to your boss is very similar to before, with a small change of asking for details first and a more detailed explanation section:
More Information → Positive Reaction → No Statement → Detailed Explanation → Ask about/Suggest Alternatives
More Information
"My current priorities are <priority tasks>. What's the priority of <new task> compared to the others?"
"What training and experience is needed for <task name>?"
"What's the deadline for <task name>, and what's the estimated time it'll take to complete?"
Detailed Explanation
"I have to finish <project name> as a priority because of the <event name> in two weeks."
"My annual leave was approved from the <date> to the <date>. I'll be out of the country."
"I've been assigned to the <project name> team because <describe situation>."
"I'm not trained in / licensed in / approved for that yet."
"We don't have the materials needed for that yet. More is coming in <number of days>."
Ask about/Suggest Alternatives
"<Coworker name> has a lot of experience with that. They might be a better fit than me."
"I could shadow a colleague with experience to learn from them, and then take these on in the future."
"I can fit it in next week if that will still meet the deadline."
"Could we rearrange some of my responsibilities to take that on?"
"Could alternative materials be used instead until we are resupplied?"
"We could ask HR who has the training/license to do that."
Of course, there is always the chance that asking for more information has made it clear to you that this is a "yes" only situation. You can change your professional no to a professional yes by discussing what your new priorities will be:
Ask for More Information → Positive Reaction → Accept and Discuss New Priorities.
Saying "No" for Personal Reasons
Sometimes the reason you need to say "no" isn't professional, but personal. When we agree to work for a company or employer we agree to do our best to follow instructions and do what we are asked to. But on rare occasions, you might be asked to do something you feel you cannot do because of your personal beliefs and values.
Focus on the Task - Not Your Personal Situation
When saying no for personal reasons it's important to focus your reply on practical ways to get this task completed for your employer, and not why it doesn't fit with your beliefs. A discussion about why you believe what you do, will not get the task done and can move the conversation into very uncomfortable personal areas. It's also good to start with an apology to show that you want to do what is best for your team, but in this specific situation, you can't.
Don't say: | Â "I can't do that it's against my religion because the <holy book name> says ..." |
Do say: | Â "I'm sorry I can't do that for personal reasons. Catherine has done these before though, and I think she might have time to help you." |
Don't say: | Â "If I touch that I will have an allergic reaction and I could die." |
Do say: | "Unfortunately I can't do that without gloves because of an allergy. If we have protective gloves I can. Or if anyone without an allergy is available it might be a better alternative." |
Don't say: | "Me and my boss have agreed I shouldn't do <task name> because of <mental health reason>." |
Do say: | "My boss has asked me not to do <task name> for a little while for personal reasons. Can anyone else on the team help you with that?" |
Again, it can be difficult to be boundaried with our personal reasons for saying no, but only your boss needs to know the reason, and only enough to understand your position. Adding any more information can lead to blame or an unnecessary look into your private life.
When it comes to personal reasons for not being able to complete certain tasks, it's always best to be open and honest about these with your manager as soon as you realize they are one of your responsibilities. Most people are happy to help you stay true to your beliefs, but having the time to plan alternatives is essential for getting their full support.
Wrap Up
Setting reasonable but firm boundaries and saying no clearly and professionally is a great way to keep your workload productive and healthy. It's also a good way to encourage an atmosphere of personal respect and professional boundaries. Learn how to say no to requests at work professionally to maintain your work-life balance, prioritize tasks effectively, and deliver high-quality work.
Formula for saying no to a teammate:
Positive Reaction → No Statement → Short Explanation → Suggest an Alternative
Formula for saying no to your boss:
More Information → Positive Reaction → No Statement → Detailed Explanation → Ask about/Suggest Alternatives
And, if you find out more and realize you can't say no to your boss, give a polite but professional yes with this formula:
Ask for More Information → Positive Reaction → Accept and Discuss New Priorities.
Be polite, and friendly, but firm. You can't do everything, but you can help in finding suitable solutions so everything still gets done.
Helpful Links
Socializing and Speaking for Career Success - a 5-minute read with advice on how to socialize successfully and speak confidently at work socials.
Stand Up, Speak Up - Being Assertive at Work - a 6-minute read for anyone who wants to improve their confidence speaking to others in the workplace.
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